The Online Dater's Safety Checklist: 15 Rules Before You Meet

Online dating connects millions of genuine people every year. But the same openness that makes it work also creates opportunities for bad actors. Having a simple, practical safety routine doesn't mean being paranoid — it means being prepared.

This checklist covers everything from the first message to the first meeting and beyond. Save it, bookmark it, share it with friends. These 15 rules represent the collective wisdom of dating safety experts, law enforcement advice, and the Smooch safety team's experience protecting members since 2001.

Before You Start Chatting

Rule 1: Use a verified dating platform. Choose a platform that requires identity verification — not just an email confirmation. On Smooch, members verify through government ID, credit card authentication, and email validation before their profile goes live. This single choice eliminates the majority of fake profiles before you ever encounter them.

Rule 2: Don't overshare in your profile. Avoid including your surname, workplace name, home address, or any details that could identify you outside the platform. Your first name and general area are sufficient. A determined person can find your home address from surprisingly little information.

Rule 3: Use a dedicated email address. Consider creating a separate email for dating apps rather than using your primary personal or work email. This limits exposure if the platform is ever breached and prevents someone from finding your other online accounts via your email address.

While You're Getting to Know Someone

Rule 4: Stay on the platform for early conversations. Verified dating platforms have safety features — message monitoring, reporting tools, and moderation. Moving to WhatsApp or email bypasses all of this. There's no good reason to leave the platform before you've established genuine trust.

Rule 5: Video call before meeting in person. A 5-minute video call confirms the person matches their photos and can hold a genuine conversation. It eliminates the vast majority of catfishing risk. If they refuse — that's your answer.

Rule 6: Reverse image search their photos. Right-click or long-press their profile photos and search Google Images or TinEye. If the photos belong to someone else, you've identified a fake profile. This takes 30 seconds and could save you months of emotional manipulation.

Rule 7: Trust your instincts. If something feels off — even if you can't articulate exactly what — pay attention. Your subconscious often picks up on inconsistencies before your conscious mind does. Don't rationalise away red flags.

Rule 8: Never send money to someone you haven't met. No exceptions. Not for travel, medical bills, business emergencies, or any other reason. Genuine romantic interests do not ask strangers for money. This is the single most important rule on this list.

Before Your First Meeting

Rule 9: Meet in a busy public place. A café, restaurant, or pub during normal hours. Avoid secluded locations, their home, or your home for the first meeting. Public spaces have staff, CCTV, and other people around — all of which increase your safety.

Rule 10: Tell someone your plans. Share the time, location, and the person's profile details with a trusted friend or family member. Arrange a check-in call or text at a specific time. If they don't hear from you, they know where you are and who you're with.

Rule 11: Arrange your own transport. Drive yourself, take a taxi, or use public transport. Don't accept a lift to or from the first date — you need the independence to leave whenever you choose, without relying on the other person.

Rule 12: Keep your phone charged and accessible. Ensure your phone has enough battery for the entire date. Keep it on you, not in a coat left on the back of a chair. Your phone is your lifeline — treat it accordingly.

Rule 13: Limit alcohol consumption. Stay alert and in control, particularly on a first meeting. You're still getting to know this person. Save the second bottle of wine for the third date.

Ongoing Safety

Rule 14: Share location with a trusted contact. Use your phone's location-sharing feature with a friend for the duration of the date. Both iPhone (Find My) and Android (Google Maps) have built-in options that are easy to set up and don't require any additional apps.

Rule 15: Report anything suspicious to the platform. If something felt off during the date, or if the person's behaviour changed between online and offline, report it to the dating platform. Your report could protect someone else from a dangerous situation.

Trust your instincts and leave. You don't owe anyone an explanation. Your safety is more important than politeness, social convention, or the other person's feelings. If you feel uncomfortable, that is reason enough to go.

Practical steps: Excuse yourself to the bathroom and leave through a different exit. Ask staff for help — many venues participate in the "Ask for Angela" scheme (see below). Call a friend or taxi and get to a safe location. Once safe, report the incident to the dating platform and, if necessary, the police on 999 (emergency) or 101 (non-emergency).

If you're in immediate danger, call 999. If you can't speak, call 999 and press 55 — this activates the Silent Solution system, which alerts the operator that you need help but cannot talk. This works on both mobile and landline phones.

"Ask for Angela" is a nationwide UK scheme supported by the Home Office. If you're on a date and feel unsafe, approach any member of staff and ask: "Is Angela working tonight?" Staff are trained to recognise this as a distress signal and will help you — whether that means calling a taxi, escorting you to a safe exit, or contacting the police.

The scheme operates in pubs, bars, restaurants, and clubs across the UK. Look for the "Ask for Angela" poster in venues — it's usually displayed in bathrooms. The scheme has been credited with helping thousands of people exit uncomfortable or dangerous situations since its launch in 2016.

You don't need to explain the situation in detail. The phrase itself is enough. Staff will discreetly assist you without drawing attention or escalating the situation unless you ask them to.

On most dating apps, safety is reactive — you report problems after they happen. On Smooch, safety is proactive — verification happens before a profile goes live. By the time you see someone's profile, they've already passed five independent verification checks: government ID, credit card authentication, email breach validation, AI photo detection, and human moderation review.

This doesn't just protect you from catfishing — it creates an entire community of verified, genuine people who have all passed the same rigorous checks. Everyone on Smooch has invested in proving they are who they claim to be. That shared investment creates a fundamentally different — and safer — dating environment.

Safety isn't a feature you should have to think about. It should be built into the foundation of the platform. That's the principle Smooch was built on, and it's why thousands of UK singles choose verified dating over volume-based swiping apps.